radiogirl2009's blog

I am in a semi dark room, kneeling on a low, square table and straddling the love seat. Hands clasped behind my head and bound into place. I have obviously been in this position for quite sometime. I am perspiring, struggling with the edge, breathing heavily.

My heart is pounding as you remove the clothespins from my nipples. Your wickedly strong hands grasp my sore tits and begin to roughly squeeze and rub them, restoring circulation to my tortured nipples. Grasping my hair and pulling my head back, you begin to assault me with your mouth. Kissing me, plundering my mouth with your tongue, easing back and biting my lips. The assault nearly pushes me over the edge. "Dont you dare come, you filthy whore!" you scream into my face. Immediately I settle down, extremely aroused, but sliding back from the edge with your admonishment. Again, you kiss me, gentling me..lovingly you kiss my lips and down to my neck, my eyes closed, the feel of your beard like sandpaper on my skin, further down my chest, soft lips, moist tongue and the scrape of your facial hair on my tender flesh.

Today was so amazing. i had everything in place, we vibe inserted, harnessed, peppermint oil on my clit, chilling glass dildo and ginger lube. The music was pumping. My edging had started even before i straddled the love seat and set the wand against my clit. In the zone, i guess you could say.

i found the edge quickly today and tested and tortured myself to stay there. i pushed myself this morning. Seems orgasm kept bubbling to the surface over and over. Everytime I would back off, panting, sweating, and moaning, the more aroused i stayed. Not exactly close to orgasm, but close enough to feel the pleasure and the pain. The nipple clamps really added to the stimulation today. Sometimes i can concentrate on the pain and pull in my nipples and that can pull me back from the edge pretty quickly, but today was not one of those times. It all seemed to be working together, pain and pleasure to keep me right on the brink of coming. GOD, what an amazing feeling...... such power, i am amazed at what my body is capable of sometimes.

Sometimes, the need to edge is overwhelming.

Master has often commented that edging is a NEED for me. Many people do not like getting extremely aroused and then not allowing the fulfillment that comes with orgasm. But throughout my training, i suppose i've developed a taste for it. Being on that edge, highly aroused to the point of pain is where i feel alive. Its where i thrive. It is the ultimate in service to my Master, being there, so close, but waiting, just waiting for his command to come. Sometimes that command doesnt come, sometimes it does.

Either way, i am His, for his use, his pleasure and not my own.

Your slut is a bad bad girl.........

After reading the blogs that you sent, i was absolutely dying to edge.

pub was still asleep but i went in and closed the door behind me. i stripped down completely and went to the bathroom.

when I came back in he was awake and watching me.... he said..... "i dont feel well, i am not able to perform" . Then I said, "thats fine, you can just watch"

So i set about to edging, first with just my fingers, i just closed my eyes and started to relax. Thoughts of you in my head. How much i love to edge for you, to give myself to you for you to use, pain and pleasure........ before long I was floating. It was as if he werent even in the room, but i knew he was because he had moved down between my legs to watch. i continued my ministrations, flicking my clit, rubbing it, quickly and then slowing way down. i did wonder what was going through his mind, how he was going to react to what was about to happen.

It has been a few months since I have posted here and since then there has been a lot happening with my Master and myself. My last denial session was somewhat intense and not a happy experience for me. Partly because of shit happening in our various lives and some gaps of time where he left me feeling very very alone. I began to question my place in his life, my importance to him. And all those things added up to what he calls "bumps in the road".

So after that period of denial, I began searching for ways to better myself, I began reading and studying on how to be a better submissive to him, on how to deal with my own feelings of letdown after a denial period, and just some general things that I feel I needed to improve in myself. What I found was a very good thing. Soul searching I guess... I realized that I was holding myself back on being a better submissive to him. I wasnt fully committing. So I began restructuring my thinking and dealing with these little setbacks as if it were a marriage...... So what if hes late coming to spend time with me, shit happens in life that delays us sometimes. What I learned was not to sweat those small things and to focus on what was right between us. Once I changed that mindset, things changed for us.

Day 2 is a no touch day. Normally I really hate no touch days. But slut and Master were both busy this morning so we didnt get any time together. He had a meeting this morning and i had shopping to do. One of my assignments for today was to wear my rope harness for 4 hours today and peppermint oil on my clit at 715, lunch time, and before my child gets home. I asked Master to allow me to go shopping without the harness and he said it was fine, as long as I got 4 hours in the harness today.

This is basically what my harness is..

http://www.japanese-rope-bondage.com/karada-body-rope-bondage.htm

Today was intense. After Wednesday's session I was very very nervous about today. I have been feeling very very needy the past few days because my Master denied me the orgasm.

This week hasnt been the greatest and most pleasant week for either of us.
He was very very likely to repeat what happened on Wednesday and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I had a few scares this morning, thinking there would be no playing today for similar reasons in each of our lives. I was so nervous. It was almost like I wanted it... but was afraid to even answer the phone. What if he did it to me again? Could I actually wait two more weeks with lots and lots of teasing in between to have an orgasm. I know I could probably do it..... but I also know I would be a real crabass over the weekend.

Play day March 18

Forgive me if this one runs together.. Mind is racing

This week started off badly..... Master asked me what I could play and I said Friday would be good.... I know I am going on two weeks of denial and I wanted to wait as long as possible to play. I wanted the shortest time possible between good hard orgasms. However, the note I got back said "Wednesday is better for me, but I could do it Friday if I HAD to"........ GRRRRRRRRR, then why ask me in the first place..... Finally I said.......... Okay....... I dont know what his week is like.

So play day arrives.... I prepare myself as usual, peppermint oil on my clit, harness on my body.. six clothespins on each tit, Clover clamps on my nipples and a ginger lubed vibrating egg in my ass, I put my panties back on as instructed put 4 clothespins on each of my inner thighs and started edging myself with the magic wand. Sensations are a tough thing.. sometimes you love em. sometimes you hate em. Today I knew was going to be tough.... I could already feel the tension building between my legs.

HIS
Take off your clothes he said........I followed his directions willingly.. I am his, so I do as he says
I strip and lie on the bed, his eyes light up as he sees me getting turned on by his authority. He goes into the top drawer and brings out the handcuffs, my eyes glitter as I know what is coming. Today, he is the Master.
I am cuffed to the bed and he puts a blindfold on me. Now the room is in total darkness and all I know is smell, hearing and taste. He leans over me and brushes his lips to mine, gently. Then he rolls me over and kisses my neck as I feel the ruler on my bare ass for the first time.

I am seduced by the rope
Beautiful purple cords that bind me for Him

The silkiness on the back of my neck excites me
as I prepare myself for him.
For the rope has been in his hands
Hard, demanding, beautiful hands
Hands that have never touched my skin
but have reached inside me and touched my soul.

I begin the knots, right above my breastbone
and a feeling of calmness descends upon me
I feel focused, centered, for I know how to do this

With the second knot, below my breasts
I feel my breathing deepen
My mind focused on that bright light
that makes him the center of my universe